Time Scars All Hearts
by Naria Lacour de Fanel
Summary: Undertaker explains his bittersweet views of love and existence to a paramour.


Title: Time Scars All Hearts

Author: Naria Lacour de Fanel/ pervyyaoifancier

Fandom: Kuroshituji

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, it is the property of Toboso Yana and I make no money from writing this!

Undertaker musing

A/N: This came about because I was trying to explain to my beloved friend, Digimitsu, how it is I see UT loving someone. I don't see him as the typical immortal doomed to be sad and alone for eternity…I think I used to…but not recently LOL Anyway, this is him explaining his bittersweet views of love and existence to a paramour.

* * *

I have lost many friends and lovers to the inevitable forces and cycles that drive us all onward, even beyond mortal means, that are collectively construed as the inescapable flow of Time. Time is jointly amiable and malicious to me, though I do not fight it's course nor fault it's existence. It gives and it takes, and I am but one more of the countless helpless passengers in it's undeniable forward moving current. I am not a strong man, nor an understanding one at that. I am an accepting man. I would rather embrace the unavoidable than to fight it, and I have learned that lesson well enough to never question it's merit again. Time repeatedly leaves it's scars upon me, but I see no reason to hide my wounds. Why should I? Time ages and weathers most things, but not for an immortal such as myself, and so my scars, both physical and metaphorical, are the only marks Time can leave upon my being. They are a testament to my experiences, my triumphs, my mistakes; they are both an example and a warning to those that dream of immortality as an effortless thing to cope with. Though I assure you, it is not without it's highly incommodious flaws, which one must come to accept in order to retain sense of self and sanity through the years and decades…

Perhaps because I am of the accepting sort, I have come to understand the intricacies and inevitable fickleness of emotion through the ages. I accept that mortal life is both fragile and fleeting, as is love, as is hate, as is any conceivable response to this business known as existence. The term "life" fails to capture the very being of actuality, for one can surely be dead or lose sentience and still exist...though this does not change the fact that the various emotional responses impressed upon us as we stumble through Time are gone before they can truly be understood. To be frank, due to their temporary existence, the emotions we experience ought to be cherished…Though there is one that should be respected and revered above all else.

I speak of love.

I speak of the fluttering delicate butterfly wings that can make the heart soar freely as surely as their frail construction can collapse and make the heart plummet to a terrible destruction. Though every time I encounter this supposedly elusive emotion, I discover it has a different function and appearance and I do not ever grow immune to it's changing delicate beauty no matter how many times it has collapsed and caused my heart to shatter. And so, because I accept the ephemeral nature of this exquisite emotion, when the opportunity to share it with the heart of another presents itself, I do not hesitate to embrace it. It is not out of desperation or of loneliness, though these do unerringly ail my aged heart in the course of the eras, but I take hold of it for the sake of keeping something so pure and simple alive. I give my scarred heart to whomever is assured they can share such a tremulous thing with a being such as I because this sacred gift should not go ignored. The splendor of sharing such an unconditional and giving emotion is beyond miraculous to experience. Every love is different, every heart shares it in unique ways, and to be privy to something so intimate and remarkable is an honor. One can never forget the giddy and nervous tension shared at the very beginning of any relationship, nor the deep pleasure of knowing you and you alone can make your beloved so content in all things. But the greatest treasure to be had is the elation one feels when one gives and receives acceptance of the highest degree from someone so dear. And though many loves end in tragic heartbreak for various reasons, the very fact that one loved so deeply as to feel devastation at the loss is also a beautiful thing to be considered, and hopefully that love shall be treasured once the pain has been soothed.

And pain is entirely unavoidable for Time is unforgiving.

Time will take you from me, by inexorable span of life, or by weathering away what it is we presently share until there is nothing between our hearts… but the scar you leave shall remain with me eternally, a fond memory what was and a reminder of what very well could be again.

For a breath of Time, we loved unconditionally and were loved in turn, and for all the joy and wonder of that moment, this is a scar worth having.

=End=


End file.
